2023 Match Reports

Bourne Hub CC 28th May 2023 Home- Won

Vagabonds: 155 a/o

A. Whitman – 58
T. Hutchins – 29
Bourne: 135 a/o
A. Whitman – 5/15
M. Hill – 3/29
S. Best – 2/13
Vagabonds won by 20 runs.
With a strong line up and pleasant atmospheric conditions, Captain R. Boote, having won the toss, put his faith in the Vagabonds batsmanship. However, in spite of the glorious weather, the first innings was tricky to negotiate as the pitch took a little while to come to life. Low bounce accounted for a number of Vagabonds wickets, with the Bourne seam attack probing on an excellent line and length. The Chairman fell to a sharp catch at square leg, whilst T. Hutchins (VC) punished anything off line. A. Whitman was watchful and composed – mainly scoring in the ‘V’ – eventually completing a fine half century with a sequence of lofted drives over mid-on. The Vagabonds middle order featured an exquisite ‘exposition de canards’, with such heavy hitters as R. Boote (C), T. Gay, B. Clay and Tweaker himself all registering magnificent zeroes. Unfortunately M. Hill was severely reprimanded for a blatant act of duck avoidance (‘discrimination fondee sur le canards’) after being clean bowled for 1. The innings concluded with an energetic cameo from M.Gale in support of A.Whitman. Though the total of 155 seemed a little low, with some whippersnappers in the team, a successful defence was certainly on the cards. Unbeknownst to the playing staff, team statistician ‘Moneyball’ Jeggings was running the numbers on the Deloitte supercomputers and had concluded that both the ABGR (Average Beer Gut Radius) and the AFJI (Average Functioning Joint Index) were favourable.
Bourne would face the other side of the variable bounce coin. Blessed by the presence of the patriarch Dick Mountain at first slip, youthful speedster M. Hill found some sharp lift and was almost unplayable at times. His second spell featured a return catch which resembled some kind of computer glitch from ‘Brian Lara Cricket’. The Chairman was forced to submit one delivery for analysis at the National Physics Laboratory, as it appeared to have quantum tunnelled through the stumps. At the other end, M. Gale brought some South American flavour with his sinister left-arm round. After the changes the game was poised, with Bourne only one down. At this point S. Best took two in two (2 in 2) to change the momentum of the game. This was attributed to the sudden arrival of club President Andrew ‘Bollywood’ Kennedy – a man so brown that he is on the verge of being offered a position in the Tory cabinet. In the presence of such awesome power and authority, the Vagabond’s fielding was elevated. B. Clay was particularly fleet in the deep, in spite of a shoulder injury, and T. Gay showcased his new catching technique which involved first disciplining the ball with a hard slap. A superb team performance saw the runs dry up and the regular fall of wickets. A. Whitman, a normally stoic individual, was inspired by M. Gale’s adherence to the left-hand path. Suddenly taken by a fast spirit, he too decided to come around the wicket – a decision that yielded five scalps. The game sped towards a thrilling conclusion – with all results possible as the final five overs commenced, but it was the Vagabonds who were victorious, avenging their defeat from last season. By all accounts this fixture has produced two rather good games. Both sides retired to the Sun Inn for afters, with several experienced Vagabonds partaking of a new innovation – the under the counter roast.

Addendum from Mikey:

Excellent tweaker! But let’s call out your worthy modesty and also celebrate your incredible catch, lunging low and deftly to your right to cut off what was a slightly lofted but exocet-ish off-side smash whose boundary-bound flight was so brilliantly brought to an abrupt end!! In addition the roving and roguish energy you brought to the field was infectious!!

A glorious win to remember