2023 Match Reports

A warm summers day, intermittently cloudy, as Teddy and I arrived at the ground after visiting our old digs at Bentworth Hall. We both had tails up at the prospect of some cricket, finally, for the season. Clearly there was no one there as we may have been early but weren’t sure so we got on with some chasing after the ball, well at least Teddy did.

We were hailed by the opposition who had arrived on time and they asked us to open the gate but I had to advise this was beyond us as we had no key. Time continued to pass and Teddy with tongue hanging limply from the side of his mouth, a sure sign that the tank was past half empty looked at me wondering how much more running he would have to do before team leadership would open the gate.

I was recalling the game against Crondall the previous year at their ground with my first (and only) wicket bowling for the club and a memorable guest appearance from Charlie Armstrong. In the few years I have played with the Vags it seems that Crondall has been one of the more regular fixtures for me and I continue to find them a friendly and worthy opposition.

It transpired that the Skipper had forgotten to collect the key but this was remedied by hungover Max who bravely was still playing after his leavers ball. His bravery was mustered by his Mum however who I think was the real reason some Cricket took place at all as she kindly ensured the teams could access the ground.

As seems to always be the case with the Vagabonds it’s a Zero to Hero start, Skip won the toss and elected to bat first but the accumulation of players was slow; hungover max and I did not know which strip was to be used, I was off duty as it was Sunday and he was, well, hungover, so with no capacity to make any kind of decision he rang his dad Dick Mountain who at least guided us to the obvious conclusion that it was the other lane and not the one used for the match the previous day.

We then had trouble getting the stumps into the hard ground and with Phil Mitchell whistling the default tune of a circus and with a cricket ground now full of fielders, he took his position as Umpire when eventually two batsman made it to the middle to give the correct assemblage of players in the arena of play and with much relief all around the match got underway.

Opening for the day were Al Whitman and preferred Skipper Tris. Al started strongly after getting his eye in with a few and then two boundaries and a single. Never one to be rushed, Tris adopted his regular 5 day test playbook and waited for the correct opportunity to score.

A nice partnership was commenced, Al seemingly to be the more casual in his approach alternating between boundaries and singles, Tris taking time but helping the score build none the less.

I will digress slightly at this point to internally remonstrate with Stu Best that the score book does not have the fall of wickets filled in and as he had so kindly elected me to umpire I feel no particular remorse at pointing this out, as I should, but it was his first attempt I believe, so I probably shouldn’t grumble; being in the middle was the better of those two particular options. Oh, where is Captain Haddock?!

So whilst Al got 52 and Tris got 23 I’m an not sure exactly how the wickets fell, it would be my recollection that in fact it was Tris that went first with an LBW decision (as recorded in the scorebook that was more like ‘bowled by the keepers gloves’ the first of two questionable decisions for the day), with the 2nd change of bowler in his second over but not long after followed by Al dismissed by the third bowler causing some consternation and a mis placed shot was caught.

Skippy had gone to the middle to replace Tris but found a revolving door in the pace of a decent knock and was caught for naught. Farrel then found his hattrick with the Colonel enabling another catch but had at least ably contributing 9 to the total.

Hungover Max did not fair much better and after a blistering boundary was caught with one of those shots that had it worked would have been a great shot but competent fielder placement and a safe pair of hands made this not so. The burley (Lancastrian?) David Jarmany was now at the crease with the cool experienced player that is Luke and David started knocking the bowlers around for almost all boundary shots. Luke with almost equal aggression continued the run of form and the game was back on.

Now the score book then tells us that David was lost with the score on 166 for 23 quick runs which had established a 50 partnership with Luke on 27. Matt Mitchell came to his side and played like he had somewhere better to, be scoring a couple of singles then 6, 4, 1, 6, 1, 6. This combined with Luke’s cool composure saw the score settle at a good high water mark setting the stage for a good 2nd half.

Luke was the first of the two to get out with what was at best a questionable decision, marked down as bowled but could best be described as ‘Cricketed’ as no one really has a good enough definition of what had taken place but the keeper was adamant and Luke being the gentleman that he is and in the spirit of the game walked back to the club house with the score at 207 and finishing on a commendable 51.

I am not one normally to be picking on my good friend Stu Best as it appears I am today but we had agreed that he would not get out and I could continue in my afternoons relaxation as 10th man but it was not to be and he found the same revolving door that the Skipper had used and I reluctantly found myself joining Matt in the middle for the remainder of the last over as the match which was by this point timed out. I was very happy with the one run in the score book acquired after Matt shook me from my amazement at not being out and ensuring that we ran for the single and that was as they say that!
Tea was very pleasant with Skipper having assistance from his mother with Sandwiches, the Colonel had leftover sweet treats from his recently celebrated renewal of his vows (congratulations BTW!) and a savoury selection from my good self, I’m not sure olives and nuts are the thing but the mini Spanish Tortilla was well received even in the absence of Senior Aturo Gale.

So back to the grindstone; more of a get on with some Cricket for me, and we took to the field with Max from Crop Field End and Stu Best took up the mantle at the Road end. Did I mention Max was hungover,? If I didn’t, he was and I think I may actually prefer hungover Max bowling.

The first over came and went with a comparatively loose 6 runs given away but the pace was there, Stu Best (who was not hungover or had even had a drink as he was taking part in dry July which sounds better than dry January) started well with only 1 run given . Max straighten up his accuracy and the first of his victims fell (for 2 runs only) in his second over no less which was also a maiden over; the game was on.

Stu was on target and only a couple of decent shots against his pace enabled the boundary to be found from his second over; had he had his requisite three pints pre match there would have been wickets, it was good bowling! This back and forth from the pace attack continued with Matt Mitchell taking over from Stu after his 4 overs and it was the 8th over before Max struck again with a maiden over in his 7th and 8th over, he was looking peaky by this point but is no wimp and had stumps flying.

Interlude: I cannot remember the exact circumstances but the highlight of the day for many was the sight of the Colonel putting everything on the line for the team. By this I mean the his approach of stopping a ball bowled by Max at pace and deftly defended with his entire collection of Crown Jewels. Such commitment is laudable but he was not himself for sometime after.

The Mitchell Brothers (actually they are father and son but for dramatic effect this sounds better ) came on for the next spell of success and Phil took a scalp in the 13th Over which may have been a key moment as it was their opener who had racked up 54 and was caught by the still hungover Max; Bravo! Matt then bowled the 4th of their line up out in the next over with a good catch in the field from Anon (it was a catch so it was obviously good) and competitive dad Phil landed the riposte in the next over with another wicket for only a couple of runs between them and then Phil despatched his last man for naught; boom!

It seems I had a spell after Phil from the road end with a fair first over but loose second with the casual all-rounder Al Whitman (who wears his retirement well I must say) from the other end. Al had come on to replace Matt and straight away begun to supress the run rate before a wicket in his third over for only three runs and some really fine bowling.
The experienced and capable Luke came on for a couple, but a lingering injury left him disappointed for no wickets but a distinguished couple of overs none the less. Al was keeping the oppo busy with good line and length with three consecutive maidens and then hungover wonder kid came on again with a second wind of a different nature to the night before (who else wistfully recalls wearing a hangover so well, oh the benefits of youth) who in short order got another wicket, caught by Al.

Al was still not satiated quite yet and enabled the Skipper to get his hams, sorry I mean hands, around the ball to help settle the day before Max still had enough in the tank for the coup de gras and another great delivery that clean bowled the last of them. In the end they were all out for 128, with 10 extras vs our 221 for 15 extras, it was a victory and a none too shabby one at that.

For all you Chaps who like the stats here goes:

1. Max Overs 9, Runs 18, Maidens 4, Wickets 4
2. Stu Overs 4, Runs 20, Maidens 0, Wickets 0
3. Matt Overs 4, Runs 29, Maidens 0, Wickets 1
4. Phil Overs 5, Runs 28, Maidens 1, Wickets 3
5. Me Overs 2, Runs 10, Maidens 0, Wickets 0
6. Al Overs 6.2, Runs 3, Maidens 3, Wickets 2
7. Luke Overs 2, Runs 8, Maidens 0 Wickets 0

Things were wrapped up quickly, I can’t remember if hungover Max made it to the pub, I think not but we will give him a pass for that performance. Stu Best washed his roast down with an orange juice and lemonade much to the Skippers consternation and we shared some good social moment with the opposition. After a day like that who would not look forward to next year’s re-match!

Paulie